Bar Exam Eve
So the process of preparing and hardcore studying went right up to the Sunday before the bar exam.
The day before the bar exam (Monday) was one of the most relaxing in a long time for me. Got up late, took care of some errands and then packed up for my week of fun! I headed back to Hacienda Heights, where I did some of my last minute review of the performance test approaches and tips. Then went with the family to good ole’ Sam Woo in San Gabriel for my “last meal” (at least before the bar). My dad really got into sports analogy mode, so he started using them. “Just like the NBA finals, it’s time to deliver.” “Like a football player, time to lower the boom.” I guess you know where I get my penchant for original motivational statements.
Headed over to Rob’s place and took a meditative walk to just calm a bit. When he and Lucy came back, I had the opportunity really just “chill out” and hang for the first time in months. I went over some last minute check lists in areas that I felt like I didn’t know as well. Then, as I traditionally do before any big event, I headed to the place. I do that to get familiar with the general area, to get myself mentally prepared for any contingency plans that I may need to formulate in regards to parking, food, etc. Went over there, and it was dead quiet. Almost like the calm before the storm.
No one was around, so I had opportunity to just sit and think a little. I reflected on everything in my life leading up to that point. The months of bar studying. Three years in law school. The moment I REALLY knew that law was my life’s calling. Studying for the LSAT. My undergrad years. Internships and jobs I’ve had. Resumes written and letters of recommendation drafted. I was/am incredibly blessed to be at that point. Regardless of how tired I was or how “ready to be done” with the bar, I would need to keep focus knowing that this was but yet another step in the journey to becoming a lawyer.
I had to just offer up a prayer. I asked less that I would do well, but that I could just relax and have a perspective on the exam. Although I badly wanted to (and still want to) pass, the outcome of the exam, in the grand scheme of things is just a part of my life. It doesn’t have much bearing on my worth as a person, what kind of man I am, and my relationship with God.
I got up, and took a stroll along Green Street. I was in a good place mentally . Fully confident, having the right perspective on the test. I did all I could do to prepare. Time to deliver. Time to make it happen.
Day 1
Day one of the exam was one of the most nerve-wracking, exciting, reassuring, and crazy days I have ever experienced. I woke up early that morning around 6:00 AM. I had tried sleeping (relatively) early around 12:30. The sleep wasn’t so bad, but I did wake up several times during the night because of the excitement. I had breakfast, showered, and changed. There’s something very calming about being very deliberate about the small things to me. I found out that I was ready sooner than I expected, so I had some time to calm down and collect my thoughts.
On a sidenote here’s bit of advice to ANYONE ever taking a test or having something important happening. I’m not superstitious, but I fully believe in wearing/using/doing stuff that makes you feel comfortable and confident. So if you have a comfort level with a shirt/shoes/jeans, wear it. If you feel better listening to a particular song before taking the test, listen to it. If you feel great using certain toothpaste, use it. For myself, I must admit I busted out what I call my “test taking outfit.” And, this may be a little TMI, but I HAD to use the Old Spice Bodywash when showering. Don’t know why? Check out this guy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE
Upon arriving at the convention center, the first thing right off the bat was the incredible line waiting to get into the parking lot.. One car at a time, one entrance into the parking lot. It took forever. As soon as I got parked, I made my way up to the convention center complex. The convention center is built around the Pasadena Civic Auditorium and the ice skating rink. As soon as I get out from the stairs, I see a grip of people just pacing back and forth throughout. About half the people have their notes still out and are just dead silent. And the other half, actually did look pretty normal.
We wait outside the doors and it opens up at 8:10 or so. Everyone starts the rush into the convention center. We all get inside the lobby and just wait. They just tell us to wait there. It was very confusing. But I was fine with that. Just stand around, smile at people. I overheard some dude talking about how it was his fifth time taking it. He had the routine down. He had all his supplies in a giant garbage bag and was the most relaxed person in the room. Yeah…I’m not superstitious, but I had to step back away from him. No thoughts of “contingency plans in case I fail” rubbing off on me from this gentleman.
The doors to the hall open. It’s a gigantic exhibit hall. Concrete floors. High celings. Bright lights. Echos through the room. There are rows upon rows of tables, each with a little outlet in front of it and a number card and our name in front of it. Its super cold.
As we sat down, you could feel a palpable tension in the room. I was able to find my seat with no real problem. I loaded Examsoft and the computer was working (thankfully). I looked at the time and the clock showed 8:15. 45 minutes until the start. What should I do? I started moving around. I got up, did some stretches. Went to the restroom and got a drink of water. Great…that took all of…10 minutes. I was looking around me, and people were the same exact way. And that was strangely reassuring: that everyone was just as nervous and as anxious as I was. I sat there, just trying to focus in, and prayed a little. As I was clearing my mind, there was a real sense of peace that I had and I could really relax.
The general instructions to the bar exam started and a hush befell the room. It’s amazing how deafening the silence of 1000-1500 people can be. The proctor gave the instructions, the tests were passed out, and I could only think of one thing: lets get this baby started! When she said the magical words “begin” I quickly ripped open the exam question sheet and gazed at the calls of the question for each of the three questions.
