The End is Here

Yesterday was my last day attending Chinese Christian Family Church (CCFC). As of today, my search for a new church home begins.

Leaving is the culmination of a difficult past few years for me as I have pondered my own spiritual life, my role in the church, the church’s direction, and the work that God has planned for me in my service through a local church body. And I feel, as this period of uncertainty and constant questioning closes, a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I do leave with a sense of sadness and a fear of the unknown. Church-searching is a new experience for me. Having counseled friends with their own church struggles and decisions to leave their home church, it is weird to be on this side.

I expect in the next few weeks and maybe months, there will be some questions as to why? This may seem awfully sudden and shocking to some, but for those who do know me and have been aware of the going-ons in my life, the theme of desiring to leave has been an all-too-overplayed tune. For years, I have only been delaying the inevitable, and the result has not been good for me, and I believe the church as well.

But I realize, that this still does not explain my departure. I believe that I have adequately informed those who need to know on the “why.” This decision has been made carefully, prayerfully, and after an (all-too) prolonged period of reflection and methodical consideration. Out of awareness that going into much detail may serve as a discouragement for those who do remain, I have chosen to be particular with those I have shared with. Just know that I find leaving a local church, especially when being at one for so long, is not something that should be taken lightly and should be a rare occurrence. Before one leaves, one should attempt to exhaust all possibilities that could effectively address concerns.

With that being said, there are fundamental disagreements that I have with the church. These disagreements run up and down all levels of the church, and are not merely limited to generational differences with “the old guard.” And many of these concerns, I believe, run to the foundation of what need to be addressed in order for a church to have a healthy future experiencing growth in individuals and corporately as well. Such issues are serious and wide-spread enough to conclude that a clean break would be best.

I have spent my entire adult life at CCFC. It is a place where I have gone from boy to man, physically as well as spiritually and as I leave, I have had time to reflect on what I am grateful for regarding my years at CCFC. In thinking about the past, I cannot help but smile and reflect with fondness. There is a library chock full of memories. Going to China on missions after freshman year of college. The times during retreats just staying up in…interesting…conversation (what’s said in the cabin, stays in the cabin!). Playing sports where we end up saying, “I really need to get into shape,” all too often. All through the laughter and the heart-felt words, I have grown spiritually and been blessed through my membership and association in this local church body.

In the church experience, people tend to come and go. Through the years, I have had opportunity to meet and develop relationships with some really cool people. What I am incredibly grateful for is that these relationships have come to the point that they go beyond being “church friends” and where we can enjoy friendship and fellowship transcending church involvement. And these are relationships I desire to continue, nurture, and deepen.

In addition, I am very grateful for the leadership and friendship of Pastor Elton. Through the years, I have come to really respect him for his character, leadership, and his example of a life lived in a Christ-centered manner desiring to live for the glory of God. Both he and Wen-Yean are extremely generous with their resources, time, and energy, and I am eternally grateful for them in the impact that they have made on my own life. Of all the things that made it difficult to leave these years, my relationship and respect for Pastor Elton was by FAR at the very top. The English congregation has it incredibly good with Pastor Elton at the helm, and I hope that those that remain at CCFC realize that.

As I enter this new period in my life, I do so with a sense of nervousness, but with great excitement was well. I will be deliberate in my decision to settle at a new church home and take my time and cast the net out wide. I do have a set of criteria and preferences, but am open. And as I enter this season in my life, I ask for two things: accountability and prayer. Accountability to ensure that I am staying diligent in my search and discouragement from entering in to “church-dating” mode. And prayer for me as I see where God would take me and He would guide me all along the way, ultimately to a place that the preaching is Word-centered, people are God-centered, church structure is Christ-centered, service Spirit-Centered, and where I can grow in my love for the Lord and constantly challenged to live my life more and more for the glory of God.