Thoughts from This Bar Taker

1. Stay Healthy

One of the most important things during the course of bar examination preparation as well as during the exam itself is to stay healthy. Make sure to take care of your mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Mentally, make sure to keep your sanity. Take some breaks once in a while. Keep yourself grounded in things that you enjoy. For me, that meant still watching Lakers games, eating out occasionally, and watching a little TV once in a while. During bar prep’s first month, I would still take Sundays off. I would go to church, chill out, and not even pick up a law book. Once bar prep really picked up, I did continue to go to church, but I would head to the library right afterward. I could definitely tell the difference in not taking that break. I was a lot more irritable, unhappy, and angry. Taking breaks and even a day off is absolutely necessary.

Physically, it would be a great idea to work out. Spend some time in the gym to just relieve some of that stress. I must admit, I cut my workout frequency in half during bar time, but the times I did go really did wonders to relax me. Lift a few weights, do some cardio, maybe even go into the steam room, sauna, or the hot tub with the fat hairy old dudes. Anything to just get the blood pumping after sitting in the library all day.

2. Keep Your Life as “Normal” As Possible but Remember, you are taking the BAR

I hear the horror stories of people studying for the bar. People who go into deep ascetic monk mode and completely shut themselves up at home for 2-3 months. People who get up at 7 AM, sleep at 3 AM and study all day without eating or drinking much. I can tell you that doing that may be the stupidest thing ever to do. Yeah…don’t do that. There is only so much you can learn a day and trying to “force feed” yourself will do nothing to help you pass the bar. At the same time, realize that this is the BAR EXAM. It is incredibly difficult. Very intelligent people have failed it. Take it seriously and put in the work to pass it. Don’t take half measures and be committed to the process of studying for it.

Another aspect of keeping life pretty normal is keeping factors in your life pretty consistent. What do I mean? Keep eating the same foods. Keep the same sleeping patterns. The bar is no time to try to kick that caffeine habit or start new hobbies. YES, this includes relationships. Don’t be trying to “make it happen” with that cute guy/girl in bar review or coming up with a game plan to impress your crush. There’ll be time for that later, after you pass the bar. And, after you pass, you’ll have one of the best pickup lines out there in your arsenal: “Trust Me, I’m a lawyer.” And if you are already in a relationship, sorry, I have nothing to say. I cannot relate to you.

3. Prepare yourself in law school with eyes to the bar

Bar prep is a long term process. I think, while possible, you can just cruise for three years and cram two months and pass, it becomes a lot tougher and more stressful than it needs to be. Bar prep should start from day 1 in law school. Now, what do I mean by this.

The first thing, expose yourself to long term bar studying opportunities. One of the most helpful things in law school that I found in prepping for the bar were workshops that Bar/Bri offered for essay writing. I took the workshops in evidence and torts, and I found during bar review that I felt A LOT more comfortable with these subject areas.

The second thing that I believe EVERYONE should do is to intern or extern and get as much real world experience as possible. As law students, we tend to become so focused on just the black letter law and trying to pound the rules into our heads. Although it may not FEEL like it, getting that experience really helps solidify knowledge in the law. Most importantly, though, I believe that working in a particular field allows you to gain a certain comfort level with a particular subject. Take me, for example. I interned with the DA’s office in San Bernardino County. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I felt that three of my best subjects are criminal law, criminal procedure, and evidence. When you work in an area, you begin to develop a sense for the issues involved. You gain writing experience. You see bad arguments and good arguments. And ultimately, your knowledge of black letter law is also reinforced.

The last point is, do not do the minimal in law school. Show up to class. Do your reading. It will help later on for bar studying. I’ll be honest, I didn’t put the same kind of effort in for every single class in law school. Some classes, I would really work hard in and keep on top of things. Other areas, I would just do the bare minimum. Read enough so that I wouldn’t look like an idiot, and cram at the end. The areas that I really did all the work: reading, fully briefing, coming prepared to discuss in class, I think were some of my best areas in preparing for the bar. The classes I didn’t put in that same effort, I really struggled with during bar review.

4. Quality versus Quantity

One of the things that I heard early on is that we needed to spend about 70 hours a week studying for the bar. I don’t disagree with the heart of this. The bar does take a lot of commitment in terms of time. But I would say even more important than this is the quality of your studying. Are you concentrated in the time that you studying? Are you being smart about studying, or are you just sitting there casually browsing your outlines.

This principle also applies to doing MBEs and writing essays as well. Just doing A LOT of these isn’t the only solution. You have to see the patterns and understand WHY you get things right or wrong.

5. Nothing Beats Preparation

The bar is hard work. In order to succeed, you got to put in the work. As much as I hated it, I’m totally ok with that. It means it’s a fair test. If you put in the work and have the necessary skills, you will pass. If you don’t you don’t. There’s no secret to what needs to be done. I know there are conflicting things that people who give advice on taking the bar say. But here are just some of my thoughts in terms of prepping.

I believe the most important thing in preparing for the bar is to know the black letter law. If you know your law, you will be in good shape. This takes hard work. It requires listening to lectures, and reading outlines, and outlining things, and notecarding, and memorizing, and even more notecarding, and then even more memorizing. For me, I feel like I’m a good enough writer that if I know the law, I know how to apply it in an essay. In addition, you MUST know the law in order to pass the MBE. There are no if, ands, or buts.

In addition, you must practice, practice, practice. After you’re done, do some more practice. This includes writing exams, taking MBE questions, and doing performance tests. I think the main thing is that you need to learn timing as well as gain a comfort level with questions. The only way to achieve this is to practice a lot.

I like the analogy of a basketball player shooting free throws or being clutch in a game. Someone like Kobe Bryant. You think that happens by chance? No way! It takes hours and hours of practice. It takes improving upon weaknesses and constant and consistent improvement. It requires so much work that shooting becomes almost second nature. So even in the face of great pressure and adversity, a basketball player like Kobe can deliver. The same thing with bar exam questions. You need to practice enough to become effective, and most importantly, to become comfortable with the exam.

6. Don’t try to “Trick the Exam”

Many people will tell you the tricks of the bar. What you need to study or not. You’ll hear stuff like “constitutional law was on the bar last time, so you don’t need to study that.” I cannot tell you how much I hate that. Just be prepped and ready to go. Don’t put all that energy into trying to outguess the exam. Just work hard, get your fundamentals down, and let things fall into place. You cannot control the test, but you can control what law you know. You can control how much you prepare and working on your timing. And this takes hard work. No “special insight” into the bar could ever make up for this.

7. Maximize your Strengths and Minimize Your Weaknesses

The bar is part luck, but mostly hard work. I think I said previously that I had a very good mix of questions on the bar in terms of my strengths. And, in a lot of ways, you make your own luck on an exam like this. You can expand “areas of strength” by becoming more proficient in a subject area. So lets say, you feel initially ok about 6 areas, so-so in about 6, and very bad about 4. Through hard work, your comfort level will change that to where you maybe you feel expert in 3 areas, ok in 10, and so-so in about 3. I think that’s where I ended up.

Early on, I developed a strategy to my approach to study: maximize my strengths and mitigate the consequences of my weaknesses. This is both in terms of subjects, and in terms of areas of the test (essay writing, performance test, or multiple choice questions). I identified subject areas of strength that I could really bank on. It’s no surprise that these areas were subjects I did very well in during law school as well as gained real life experience in: criminal law/procedure, community property, constitutional law, business associations, torts and evidence. Then there were the areas I really had almost no clue about going into bar review: contracts, real property, wills and trusts. Thankfully, there weren’t too many subjects I was REALLY uncomfortable with. So the breadth of the exam didn’t really intimidate me AS much as it could have. Knowing that I was prepared to write/answer questions on crim law and con law without even going through bar review was very, very, very reassuring. It gave me time to worry about areas that I don’t know anything about.

I also discovered that I’m actually really good at multiple choice questions. It’s probably because of the tutelage of the legendary Chuck Shonholtz. So that was a point of strength for me, and an area that I knew pretty early on that I didn’t need to spend quite AS much time on as things like writing essays or working on timing for the performance test. Speaking of the performance test, initially, I would spend 3.5 hours writing a test. But one thing I discovered more and more as I kept practicing is that I had a pattern. They recommend that you spend 90 minutes reading and outlining the library and the file and 90 minutes actually writing. One thing about me is, I’m not very pithy with my words, so I tend to take longer writing. But I do read, outline, and understand things pretty fast. I just decided to totally throw out the suggested time allotment out the window and spend an hour reading/outlining and two hours writing.

8. Do it Your Way

I talked a lot about methodology and approaches for studying for the bar. People will give a lot of “tips” on what worked for them in studying for the bar. Ultimately, you got to do what works for you. We all learn differently and all have different areas of weaknesses that we need to work on. Find a way that is effective for you and stick to it.

9. Keep Your Head Up

Preparation for the bar is a marathon, but the bar itself is a sprint. You really got to pace yourself in studying. You can’t burn out too early and flame out in your energy for studying. You are in for studying for the long haul. There are “time checks” on the way to the goal, and just take one segment at a time. It is very easy to get overwhelmed so it’s necessary to just grit your teeth and keep fighting.

Prepping for the bar is a whole lot worse than taking it. The long hours, the isolation, the nervousness, really sucks. But when you’re taking the bar exam, it’s your chance to show off how much you know and to prove why you’re ready to be a lawyer. The exam itself isn’t bad in the sense that it feels very long. Once you’re in it, you’re locked in. There’s a task and it’s time to perform. And once those three days are over, there is no better feeling.

Trust in what you have learned and the skills you have acquired. It’s very easy to second guess yourself during the process and during the bar as well. “I should have put this,” or “should have I raised that?” Don’t get discouraged. You prepared as much as you could and performed as best as you can. I think for myself, even as I await my bar results, I was very satisfied with how I did because I knew it was the best I could do. And that’s the only thing that we can really control: our preparation and how we execute. Whether we pass really isn’t up to us, we just have to let the chips fall as they will.

During the bar, things will go wrong. There is no doubt about it. There will be a question that you don’t know. You will get sick. You won’t be able to find that parking spot. Never give up and keep going along. It has almost become axiomatic to say that the bar does not prepare you for the practice of law. I disagree. While most attorneys will never need to know the breadth of law that is required on the bar exam (most attorneys specialize and end up having a deep knowledge in a few areas), the bar exam helps train an important trait in attorneys: mental toughness.

Much like not knowing a question on the bar exam means it’s the “end of the exam” or “game over” for your chances of passing, when things go bad in court, its not necessarily over. You got to keep fighting away. I always get a chuckle from these horror stories of people running out of the bar crying or freaking out or just leaving. Really? If you can’t handle the exam to become a lawyer, how can you handle ACTUALLY working in the profession? To wrap up, keep fighting. And as cheesy encouragement, “Never give up” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) and “Don’t Stop Believin’” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=barLaHrtvoM)

10. Keep Perspective and Stay Relaxed

Going back to the analogy with Kobe, he’s one of the best basketball players in the world, but played like trash in Game 7 of the NBA finals. Why? Was he unprepared? Did he somehow lose his skills over night? No, he said in post game interviews that he “wanted it too much.” He was trying too hard. In trying too hard, he didn’t know his limits. His shot was off, he was forcing things too much, and ultimately performed to a level that was unexpectedly bad.

Now what does this have to do with the bar? The bar is an important exam, no doubt about it. But it is not the end all be all. Keep a proper perspective on it. Relax, don’t tense up, and you’ll be okay.

Bar Thoughts: Part VIII

Day 3

I walked into Day 3 of the exam in an extremely good mood. I slept as well as I have in about 4 months the night before and had about a good 7 hours. I don’t know if you know this, but the bar tends to put people on edge. When that happens, they walk around like their pissed off all the time and ready to blow. I was no exception. Maybe it was the sleep. Maybe it was a stomach full of fried chicken. Maybe it was the knowledge that it was going to be all over soon. But I was almost giddy. I’m sure people around me were like, “what the heck is wrong with this guy.” I walked around, felt really relaxed, struck up conversation with the proctors, and started “scouting” the room for cute gals (I’m totally just kidding about that…seriously. It does sound like something I WOULD do though).

Once the test started, I could just let it fly. I did the same thing as day one: I did a quick scan over each of the questions. Question 4, I observe three names. I see that they entered into business. I look at the bottom and see that they’re discussing whether or not the company can be bound. OK good, I know this. Agency/partnership/maybe corporations.

For Question 5, first thing I see: “can suspect be convicted of attempted kidnapping?” second thing I see, “was motion to suppress properly denied.” At that point, I actually did a silent fist pump. Criminal procedure/law? Before the bar, there were two areas of law I said to myself, “if this is on the bar, I know God wants me to be a lawyer.” The two areas? Criminal law/procedure and constitutional law. As soon as I saw this, I’m literally thought to myself, “Awesome, I’m going to “Kobe” this thing.”

Question 6, I did a quick glance. “What are husband and wife’s rights in…” and it listed out different pieces of property. Community property. Got it!

So after doing my quick overview, I had a huge sigh of relief. No California civil procedure. No wills/trusts. No crazy contracts question. No real property question. None of the subjects that caused me to freak out over this exam. I wrote my answers. I hit everything I needed to and more. Conceptually, I had a very good handle on all three of the questions.

One Shining Moment
The Crim law/pro question was the best answer I wrote for the bar. If we were making a video montage of me taking the bar, this would be the one video clip at the very end. It was a fact pattern where defendant takes gun, points it a victim and tells her to come with him. She laughs him off and he leaves. He’s walking away. The police have a “checkpoint” on a sidewalk and they stop him and find him with the unregistered firearm. They take it. Weeks later, they get a warrant based on the gun and arrest him. When they arrest him, they find a bag of coke. He later shows up to court drunk and pleads guilty to all charges. There are three calls. First, was the motion to suppress the gun properly denied and was the motion to suppress the coke properly denied? Second, was the motion to withdraw the plea properly denied? Third, can he be convicted of attempted kidnapping?

The reason why I think I did well on this question is that this is one where I think I fully anticipated the arguments of both sides. My natural inclination is to be police/prosecution friendly and deny, deny, convict. Well, he could be convicted of the attempted kidnapping, there was no doubt on that. Are you kidding? You point a gun at someone and tell her to go with you. I’m pretty sure only the truest of believer could argue that this wasn’t an attempt. But with the searches were obviously illegal. And the judge in the case did not advise the defendant of all his rights before taking the plea.

So at the end of the session, I was feeling very good. I was actually very pumped. Got up, and was incredibly happy. I thought I did well enough that all I had to do was show up in the afternoon and I could still pass the bar. My visible joy was muted by observing some of the people walking out of the room though. Some people were crying, and visibly upset. I did feel bad for them and tampered down my giddiness. The mix of questions was perfect for me. But if they had been a CA civ pro, wills, and contracts question, I could have just as easily been the one coming out in tears.

The Closer

I went into afternoon session thinking that I just needed to do my thing and I would be fine. Being that relaxed and calm allowed me to just let it fly. My brain works well when its relaxed, and I was chugging along pretty well. The PT wasn’t so simple. It really required a lot of objective legal analysis. There was a professional responsibility issue floating in there too that wasn’t asked for in the task memo. But I made my way through it. It wasn’t the best of things I’ve ever written, but I included everything I needed to include and I think it was a passing quality answer.

Celebrate Good Times

I wrapped up my final spellcheck and formatting check at the 30 seconds left mark. I closed up my exam and restarted the comp. As soon as the proctor called “time” a loud cheer erupted throughout the room. I think along with the cheering, you could hear a loud collective sigh of relief. We were done! I am not a touchy feely kind of guy, but I almost wanted to cry. Don’t worry, I didn’t come close. But at that moment, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. The nightmare was over, I could live again! The proctors were collecting the materials, and you can feel the impatience in the room: hurry up and collect the booklets! As soon as they cut us loose, there was a stampede out of the hall. People couldn’t wait to bone out of there as soon as possible.

I actually did so too. I wanted to upload my exam as soon as possible. What was funny was when I was walking out, half the people went back to the parking lot, and it looked like about 100-200 people went straight to the Yardhouse in Paseo. Hey, can’t blame them.

After I uploaded my exam, I triple checked to make sure it did so properly. Then I headed back to the convention center site. After any big event/test I always go back to also reflect a little. I said earlier how I do the same thing before the test/event. Going back is like completing that circle and gives me some finality. I went back, reflected on the whole process. As tough as it was, I was thankful that I had went through it. I thanked God for bringing me through something I know I could not have done on my own.

Bar Thoughts: Part VII

Josh Doin’ Work

Day 2

Day 2 of the exam was a whole lot more relaxed than day 1. I knew what to expect. I knew where to park and where not to park. I knew where the restrooms were. I know what to expect. Walked out, everyone is a lot more relaxed. We’ve been through day 1, now lets do this dance again.

As I said previously, day 2 of the bar exam is the Multistate Bar Exam. 100 questions in 3 hours in the morning. The same thing in the afternoon. You’re not allowed to bring in your computer that day, so all I had was my plastic bag full of pencils and my clock. I had my watch on too, just in case the clock screwed up.

So once the test begins, my clock stops working. Great…these 99 cent store batteries messing up in the most opportune of times. I was ok because I still had my watch, but it sucked for the gal next to me because she asked if she could use my clock too. So she ended up having to ask the proctors how much time was left. This is a perfect time to offer another bit of bar exam advice. ALWAYS BE PREPARED. Have a plan B, plan C, plan D, and plan E and be prepared mentally to have to go to your backup plans without freaking out.

The MBE

The MBE questions have a certain format (at least for most). There is about a paragraph or two describing a certain set of facts. There is the call of the question. There are four answer choices. On a typical MBE question, each answer choice falls into one of four categories.

A. The Correct Answer

B. The “moral answer.” The answer that makes you FEEL good because it brings about a result that feels right. But it is wrong because it misapplies facts to a rule of law or has no basis in the law.

C. The “correct statement of law misapplied to the facts answer.” This answer is where you can really get tripped up on because it’ll be a right rule of law. Unless you really know your law, it’s very tempting to use this.

D. The “ridiculous answer.” There is always one answer you can just cross off. This could be an answer that misapplies rules and is so wrong, it’s not even funny. It could be an answer that states the facts wrong (to test your ability to read). Sometimes, they’ll just make up rules (the rule in ‘Dagget’s Case’? Federal police power clause? Really?)

As I was going through the test, I was pretty locked in. Black letter law was flying through my brain. Memory recall was as good as it’s ever been for me. I was reading the fact patterns fast and seeing the issues before I ever read the question choices. I would see issues and come up with an answer before even completing reading the call. For most questions, I would know what answer would work even before reading the options.

One thing that did cause me pause at one point was that I thought to myself, “this is a little too easy, am I rushing too fast?” So I started slowing down a bit. The answer choices were just as obvious and doable for me. There wasn’t anything that was really a headscratcher. They instructed us not to discuss the contents or answers on the MBE, so I’ll oblige. I’ll say this. If you know your law, you would have passed it. I wasn’t walking out of there saying, “this is crap!” or “that was tougher than any Bar/Bri question” and throwing a hissy fit.

At one point, the MBE actually became FUN. Yes, you read correctly, FUN. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t choose taking six hours of multiple choice bar questions instead of going to a Dodger game (actually, the way the boys in blue are going, I may have to rethink that). But I mean it in the sense that it became enjoyable and something that you take pleasure in doing. Each question became like a little puzzle that I would need to solve. As I was answering questions, I had a soundtrack in my mind that was playing in the background. Well…basically, “Winner” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtWGx5_pHU0) and “Don’t Stop Believin” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=barLaHrtvoM). Yes, I watch a lot of basketball.

I had plenty of time in both sessions to finish up and to check all my answers again. I reviewed each answer “de novo,” meaning, I basically did them all over again. In the first session, the proctor called “five minutes” left when there were actually ten. It didn’t affect me, but if I were running out of time and had to guess because I thought I had five less minutes than I actually did, I would have been angry. How much do you want to bet some person won’t complain/sue over that? That’s just how law students roll.

Afterward, had dinner with the boys at Roscoe’s House of Chicken N’ Waffles. I had chicken with gravy with a couple of waffles. I always say this whenever I go there, but it’s amazing. It’s expensive, but its amazing. But one bad thing did come out of it. I really wanted to look over some of my checklists again, especially for wills/trusts and corporations. I don’t know if you know this, but fried chicken and waffles is kind of heavy. And when I eat heavy/fatty foods, I tend to be sleepy. So as I was attempting to do a quick review, I was really falling asleep. I couldn’t even play NBA live with the guys!

After day 2, I was feeling very good. I was feeling like I had done more than enough to pass the first two days. If the bar were a best of three series, I could go home and call it a day. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. The bar is more like being down 2-0 in a 5 game series and needing to sweep all three remaining games. This was no time to relax, game 5 was ahead. Win or go home (and yes, I recognize the inadequacy of the sports analogy in this case. Even if I “lost” I would have gone home anyway, but you get the point)

Bar Thoughts: Part VI

Halftime

I truly believe that the lunch break during the bar exam is one of THE MOST critical times in taking the bar. How you spend your lunch break will really set the tone for how you do in the afternoon. It’s easy to get jazzed up for the morning session put all your energy into it. If you do not approach the lunch break properly, you may end up really being lazy and making careless mistakes because you have no energy in the afternoon.Some people choose to go back to their hotel rooms to sleep. Others go out and eat. Some just sit outside and nervously try to look at their outlines to see what they SHOULD have wrote on (which I really don’t understand). Needless to say, I need my food.

The convention center where we took our exam is across from the Paseo Colorado. That place really doesn’t have a wide selection of “bar exam” type of restaurants. What do I mean by that? Food that can be delivered fast, cheap, and with little chance of screwing with your body. There’s basically a Rubios, Chinese takeout, and that’s about it. My perfect “brain food” or “study food” is actually a burger, fries, and coke. It doesn’t make me sleepy, it’s easy on my stomach, and has enough calories to fuel my brain at a relatively high level.

For day 1, it was Rubio’s for me (more on that later). Got my food, and I ran into about 4 different people I at least recognized or knew. One of the most subtle evidences of grace was the weather that week (well, the weather in general for this whole summer). It was a perfect day in the low 80s. Perfectly pleasant enough to sit outside and relax a little. After lunch, I had some almonds, popped a few chocolate covered expresso beans, and downed half a bottle of coke zero. I call that cocktail my “mind steroids.” I was pretty much good to go.

Game 1: The Second Half

As I’ve said in an earlier entry, the afternoon session of the bar exam consists of a performance test. Essentially we have to write a memo. It’s a skills test to ensure that the examinee is competent and can research and write well enough to be an attorney.

I open up the packet, and the call asks for a persuasive memo. The assignment is, write a persuasive brief to a court in support of our client’s position. It’s a real property fact pattern involving violation of CC&Rs (covenants, conditions, and restrictions) and whether our client could enforce them. The task memo asked for us to address four different issues. There were four difference cases in the library.

To keep things short, I wrote well and completely. The performance test was an exceedingly fair test. I don’t think anyone could walk out of that saying “I got screwed” or “I’m not going to be an attorney because of THAT?” It was straightforward. You had to argue a position. You had to argue why the facts in this situation were similar or were distinguished from caselaw. To be perfectly honest, if I couldn’t do that, I really have no business being a lawyer.

You know how I said that I try to avoid foods that would be easy on the stomach. Rubio’s was a bad choice. Near the end of the session, my stomach was growling. You know when you hear the air inside of you shifting around, even though you really don’t feel gassy? (I know, I know, TMI). Well, that was the case with me. I could hear me growling. I’m pretty sure the people around me could too. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again day 2 and 3.

When that session finished, I really felt good. Day 1 was done with me not only surviving, but doing as well as I could have hoped. Packing up and leaving, I felt a real sense of peace and even…relaxation that I haven’t felt in a long time. Going out, I had to spend some time in thankful prayer to God before going out to my car. Once I got to my car, there was tremendous traffic getting out of the parking lot. 20 minutes to earn the right to pay my $9 to get out. Oh well.

I immediately went to uploading my test and grabbed another coke zero (that will be a recurring theme) to chill out. Had dinner with Drew (which was lovely) and proceeded to attempt to locate the 24 Hour Fitness in Pasadena which led to me driving around for a while. I gave up and decided to go back and watch some Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef.

Notice one thing that I didn’t do: study. That was by design. I really needed to have time to recharge mentally and physically after the long day. And second day wasn’t so bad anyway; it’s the multiple choice section. Day 1 was complete. 1/3 of the way to freedom!

Bar Thoughts: Part V

Game 1: The First Half

When it was announced that we were to begin, it was almost like Zeus releasing the kraken (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SqC_m3yUDU&feature=related). It was time to do battle and go at it.

I was very prepared with my supplies. Most people type up answers on the bar exam, but you have to be prepared just in case everything goes to hell in a handbasket. I had my pens and my highlighters just in case I had to write out the exam if my computer crashed. I had my glasses just in case a contact just popped out of my eye. I had my medication too. You may or may not know this, but I suffer from extreme acid reflux in the morning. When I wake up, without fail, I will start gagging and sounding pretty gross. When I’m nervous, the same exact thing happens. I had with me in the bar a bottle full of tums. I also had my acid reducers and a bottle of Tylenol just in case. The first hour of writing, I was popping tums like they were candy because I had to hold the acid down. Yeah…it was pretty bad.

I’m starting to talk about the substance of the test. I was THAT tempted to be a jerk and start talking about the essays were on different subjects than they actually were. “Did you know that essay 2 was a PR/Remedies/Con Law crossover?” But none of that from me. It is interesting, though, how the memory of the fact patterns and the subjects and the questions asked are so vividly etched in my mind.

For the first question, the first thing I saw, “What are P’s rights against 1. Homeowner, 2. Burglar, 3. Movieowner.” “GOOD!” I thought to myself. Its torts, I know that! Second question, “what ethical violations has Lawyer committed?” AWESOME! Professional responsibility. I think of myself as fairly ethical, that should be alright. Last question, the first thing I see is “answer according to California law.” Then five questions regarding five pieces of evidence. Great…I know this, but I’ll have to really racehorse through this bad boy.

So, I start working on the first question. It was very reassuring that this was the first question. The fact pattern required a discussion on intentional torts and negligence as the primary issues. Those are areas that we learned in the first semester of torts in the first year in law school. It was a heck of a question because there were a lot of things to bring up and to discuss, but it was VERY fair. After an hour, I felt like I talked about what I needed to talk about and although I couldn’t go as in depth as I like, that was as good and “lawyer-like” as I could make it.

Second question was on professional responsibility and I look over it and start thinking, “this is a little too simple.” And it’s one of those questions that, if you really take it for granted, you can easily fail it. The fact pattern involved three clients and joint representation and we had to identify the ethical issues. As I looked deeper into it, there were a lot of things wrong with the situation. Although most of them dealt with the “duty of loyalty” and conflicts of interest, we had to discuss specific instances where the lawyer violated that duty of loyalty and what she was actually required to do.

The third question, I believe, was BY FAR the most difficult question among all the questions on the written portion of the bar examination. It wasn’t so much that it was difficult to understand. The fact pattern is simple: guy gets charged with crime. Both sides seek to introduce evidence against and for him. Five pieces of evidence. Discuss. The issues are extremely straightforward. The problem is that there just isn’t enough time to talk about them all.

I think for 4 of the 5 calls we had to talk about hearsay. One of the hearsay questions was discussing multiple levels of hearsay. For each of the hearsay questions, there were about 2-3 exceptions that needed to be discussed. 4 of the pieces of evidence had serious character evidence implications and relevance issues that needed to be addressed. One of them involved the California secondary evidence rule. A couple of them had serious foundational testimonial issues. That’s just a lot to write in an hour. Basically all we had time for was to headnote, write the rule, plug in facts, and state a conclusion. I was rushing through the whole time. But the good thing about that question is, that I at least finished it.

One thing that I noticed about the first day was the adrenaline rush that I had. The anxiety that I felt quickly translated to some hyper-concentration. That was as locked in as I ever felt in my life. I would be typing and it seemed like I was typing for seconds, but I find out 5 minutes passed by. I would look up and be wondering to myself “why is it so bright in here” time to start writing again. Things just really flowed and it felt really good. I guess it’s what people who abuse adderall feel like.

So when the proctor called time, there was a real sense of relief. The first session was over and I survived! No real catastrophic mistakes or occurrences. Maybe I can be a lawyer after all! As soon as we’re let go, there’s a mad rush out of there. You could almost hear the collective sighs. People immediately start talking about what they wrote on and what they should have written on or forgot.

Bar Thoughts: Part IV

Bar Exam Eve

So the process of preparing and hardcore studying went right up to the Sunday before the bar exam.

The day before the bar exam (Monday) was one of the most relaxing in a long time for me. Got up late, took care of some errands and then packed up for my week of fun! I headed back to Hacienda Heights, where I did some of my last minute review of the performance test approaches and tips. Then went with the family to good ole’ Sam Woo in San Gabriel for my “last meal” (at least before the bar). My dad really got into sports analogy mode, so he started using them. “Just like the NBA finals, it’s time to deliver.” “Like a football player, time to lower the boom.” I guess you know where I get my penchant for original motivational statements.

Headed over to Rob’s place and took a meditative walk to just calm a bit. When he and Lucy came back, I had the opportunity really just “chill out” and hang for the first time in months. I went over some last minute check lists in areas that I felt like I didn’t know as well. Then, as I traditionally do before any big event, I headed to the place. I do that to get familiar with the general area, to get myself mentally prepared for any contingency plans that I may need to formulate in regards to parking, food, etc. Went over there, and it was dead quiet. Almost like the calm before the storm.

No one was around, so I had opportunity to just sit and think a little. I reflected on everything in my life leading up to that point. The months of bar studying. Three years in law school. The moment I REALLY knew that law was my life’s calling. Studying for the LSAT. My undergrad years. Internships and jobs I’ve had. Resumes written and letters of recommendation drafted. I was/am incredibly blessed to be at that point. Regardless of how tired I was or how “ready to be done” with the bar, I would need to keep focus knowing that this was but yet another step in the journey to becoming a lawyer.

I had to just offer up a prayer. I asked less that I would do well, but that I could just relax and have a perspective on the exam. Although I badly wanted to (and still want to) pass, the outcome of the exam, in the grand scheme of things is just a part of my life. It doesn’t have much bearing on my worth as a person, what kind of man I am, and my relationship with God.

I got up, and took a stroll along Green Street. I was in a good place mentally . Fully confident, having the right perspective on the test. I did all I could do to prepare. Time to deliver. Time to make it happen.

Day 1

Day one of the exam was one of the most nerve-wracking, exciting, reassuring, and crazy days I have ever experienced. I woke up early that morning around 6:00 AM. I had tried sleeping (relatively) early around 12:30. The sleep wasn’t so bad, but I did wake up several times during the night because of the excitement. I had breakfast, showered, and changed. There’s something very calming about being very deliberate about the small things to me. I found out that I was ready sooner than I expected, so I had some time to calm down and collect my thoughts.

On a sidenote here’s bit of advice to ANYONE ever taking a test or having something important happening. I’m not superstitious, but I fully believe in wearing/using/doing stuff that makes you feel comfortable and confident. So if you have a comfort level with a shirt/shoes/jeans, wear it. If you feel better listening to a particular song before taking the test, listen to it. If you feel great using certain toothpaste, use it. For myself, I must admit I busted out what I call my “test taking outfit.” And, this may be a little TMI, but I HAD to use the Old Spice Bodywash when showering. Don’t know why? Check out this guy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE

Upon arriving at the convention center, the first thing right off the bat was the incredible line waiting to get into the parking lot.. One car at a time, one entrance into the parking lot. It took forever. As soon as I got parked, I made my way up to the convention center complex. The convention center is built around the Pasadena Civic Auditorium and the ice skating rink. As soon as I get out from the stairs, I see a grip of people just pacing back and forth throughout. About half the people have their notes still out and are just dead silent. And the other half, actually did look pretty normal.

We wait outside the doors and it opens up at 8:10 or so. Everyone starts the rush into the convention center. We all get inside the lobby and just wait. They just tell us to wait there. It was very confusing. But I was fine with that. Just stand around, smile at people. I overheard some dude talking about how it was his fifth time taking it. He had the routine down. He had all his supplies in a giant garbage bag and was the most relaxed person in the room. Yeah…I’m not superstitious, but I had to step back away from him. No thoughts of “contingency plans in case I fail” rubbing off on me from this gentleman.

The doors to the hall open. It’s a gigantic exhibit hall. Concrete floors. High celings. Bright lights. Echos through the room. There are rows upon rows of tables, each with a little outlet in front of it and a number card and our name in front of it. Its super cold.

As we sat down, you could feel a palpable tension in the room. I was able to find my seat with no real problem. I loaded Examsoft and the computer was working (thankfully). I looked at the time and the clock showed 8:15. 45 minutes until the start. What should I do? I started moving around. I got up, did some stretches. Went to the restroom and got a drink of water. Great…that took all of…10 minutes. I was looking around me, and people were the same exact way. And that was strangely reassuring: that everyone was just as nervous and as anxious as I was. I sat there, just trying to focus in, and prayed a little. As I was clearing my mind, there was a real sense of peace that I had and I could really relax.

The general instructions to the bar exam started and a hush befell the room. It’s amazing how deafening the silence of 1000-1500 people can be. The proctor gave the instructions, the tests were passed out, and I could only think of one thing: lets get this baby started! When she said the magical words “begin” I quickly ripped open the exam question sheet and gazed at the calls of the question for each of the three questions.

Bar Thoughts: Part III

Personal Struggles

The worst part of the buildup to the exam isn’t so much the fear of failure, but the fear of the unknown. There’s the fear of the unknown on what’s going to be on the test. And because we don’t know what’s exactly going to be tested, we have to be prepared for everything. We know that there are six subjects tested in the multiple choice portion of the test. But with the six essay questions, they could be on anything. It could be on something I know really well (criminal law, criminal procedure, constitutional law, community property) or it could be something I absolutely detest (real property). There’s also the fear of the unknown in terms of actually taking the test. You can take all the practice tests that you want and put yourself under time pressures, but there is nothing really quite like actually having to perform on game day.

I fancy myself as a pretty confident guy. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t really freak out about much in my life. Well…not this time. The first 1.5 months of bar studying weren’t so bad. I still lived life a little. I watched the Lakers win their second championship in a row. I generally took Sundays off to just decompress and honor the Sabbath by not working at all. But since July 4, its been full bore for me. 10-12 hours a day 7 days a week. Meals that last about 30 minutes at most. Wakeup. Study. Eat. Study. Eat. Study. Sleep. Repeat. Days began to meld together because they all looked the same. Have you ever studied so much that you would forget what you just studied? Countless nights, as I was going home from the library, I would totally forget what I was studying. I would get a little scared, then sleep on it, and wake up the next morning remembering everything that I studied the night before. Weird, right?

Just throughout the process, I didn’t really get frustrated. I felt like I was being productive in my studying. I was improving my writing and my exam taking. By all objective indicators, I was always where I needed to be, or even ahead. But throughout the months studying, there was always the creeping thought in the mind: what if I didn’t prepare enough or study enough? What if that ONE THING I didn’t really take as seriously comes up on the bar? How stupid would I feel? And that line of thinking would also pervade my thoughts during the time I took off from studying. I would feel guilty about taking time off instead of studying and be wondering about law. I guess I should take time to explain to those who were around me during that time the reason why I tended to have this blank vacuous look. It’s probably because I was thinking about rules of law, and going over stuff in my head, even as I was physically away from the books.

One of the worst things about studying is that I didn’t have time for anything else. I’m not one to really be a social butterfly and be out and about all the time, but I do enjoy hanging out. I love going to the occasional game or partaking in a meal of food. I enjoy the random times of just playing or just chilling or grabbing a beverage and talking about (non-law related) things. Yeah…that was totally cut out from my life. I think at one point, I literally did not eat with anyone other than my family for a month.

A related difficulty is the loneliness that comes about because of isolation from the outside world. When John Donne wrote that “no man is an island,” I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about people studying for the bar exam. I’m a pretty independent guy and I’m actually a natural introvert. But I’m definitely not a “one man wolfpack.” I do need contact with the outside world. Waking up, spending all day in the library, then going back home doesn’t help that. I know a lot of people deactivated their Facebooks and stopped using Gchat or AIM during bar season. I really couldn’t do that. I needed to at least SOME contact with the outside world. And keeping those things was worth it, even if that meant Jacob Han distracting me with girl talk, getting notifications that someone put up vacation pictures on FB, or being entertained by random status messages.

I was getting so stressed about the test that it hurting my health. About 1 week before the exam, I was having trouble breathing. My chest would be very tight and my blood pressure and pulse was unusually high. I had to continue fighting through that with the knowledge that, after the bar, I really needed to take some time off to take it easy. From two weeks before the bar right until the eve, I was dreaming about law. I would dream fact patterns. I would dream black letter law. I would dream of me, standing up in court, and arguing why “Patty” should recover on a particular theory. I’m sure glad that the bar was the last week of July. At least a couple of times the week before the exam, I had real trouble sleeping and would go into “panic mode.” I would start thinking that I didn’t know an area of law, and get really scared all of a sudden. Needless to say, a couple more weeks of that preparation and I may have had serious long-term damage to my physical and mental health.